Disclaimer: All characters belong
to Marvel. I'm using them without permission for entertainment purposes
and am making no money off of them. The story is mine. Please don't use
it. Questions, comments, and/or complaints are welcome; send them all to
rayjo32@hotmail.com.
I never
eat cake for breakfast. I've always been a healthy girl, and since joining
the X-Men, I've tried to stay in even
better shape. I could just imagine
how awful I would look in my costume if I didn't work out, or how out-of-shape
I would be. It would be terrible. Which was probably why Professor X always
encouraged us to exercise a lot-so that we would be in top condition for
the battle. So, I usually ate healthy things for breakfast, like a bowl
of cereal and some fruit, or maybe some toast with peanut butter.
Someone
had bought a cake from the grocery store, one that said "Welcome" on it
in huge green letters. Probably a salute
to Polaris' hair color. And, giving
in to my sour mood, I carefully cut myself a leftover slice, and sat down
at the kitchen table to eat it. For breakfast. I stared down at the cake,
which had parts of a green "LC" on it and also a few pink roses. I hadn't
gotten any welcome cake when I showed up. I shoved my fork through the
white, pink, and green icing, and through the chocolate cake until it hit
my plate. Then I ate the piece. My mind was screaming at me the whole time
that I'd really be sorry if I put that chocolate cake in my mouth, but
once it was there, all I felt was submission. Well, that and jealousy.
I cut another mouth-sized piece and as I chewed on it, I thought about
my sister, Sara. She had always said that chocolate-or sugar-would help
just about any problem. Would it? I wondered now, as I ate my chocolatey
breakfast. Or would I just get even angrier in two days when all that cake
went to my hips? I bet She doesn't eat
chocolate cake for breakfast, I
thought angrily, and cut another mouth-sized piece.
Someone was coming
into the kitchen. I paused for a moment, the bite halfway to my mouth.
I knew I looked awful. I had been up nearly all night, glowering in bed,
and reading magazines. I hadn't showered yet, or put on any makeup. I was
wearing a ratty pair of sweatpants and a bright pink T-shirt-the things
I had slept in. I scowled at my cake. I didn't care. Let them see me like
this. I shoveled the bite into my mouth and concentrated on my plate as
the person entered the kitchen.
"Morning,
Jeannie." Ah, Warren. He'd always liked me. He was right up there near
the top of the list, right after Scott. I glanced up at him, watched him
open the fridge and shove things around, looking for the orange juice.
His blond hair needed combing. But even in this rumpled state, he looked
like a million dollars, in his expensive, light blue, monogrammed pajamas.
Even though the shirt had holes cut down the back (because he hated to
sleep in his harness), he still looked wonderful. I glared back down at
my cake. Did everyone look
better than me?
I swallowed
my mouthful of cake. "Hi," I said, a little stiffly. He hardly even noticed.
I frowned at his back, and resisted the urge to mentally throw a chair
at him.
"Where's
Scott this morning?"
Warren asked me, as he poured himself
a glass of grape juice (someone, probably Bobby, had drank up all the orange
juice and then put the empty carton back in the fridge).
"Training,
I guess," I muttered. With Him, no doubt. Not that I had anything against
Alex. After all, he was Scott's brother, even if he had tried to kill us.
It was just that Alex was the connection to Her. And I did not like Her
at all. It was easy to pretend I did. All I had to do was throw on a smile
and say, "Hi! I'm so glad you're here!" Yeah, right. Like I was glad to
let some green-haired woman come in
and take my place!
Speak
of the devil. She came prancing in, no traces of brown dye left in her
hair. She had left it loose, letting the green waves fall over her shoulders.
She had showered and was dressed in a yellow blouse and black skirt. She
looked perfect.
"Good morning!"
she said cheerfully. "Are you two the only ones up?"
"Yes,"
Warren told her. "Jean said that Scott and Alex are training. Bobby likes
to sleep in late. God only knows where Hank is."
Lorna
cast a sort of wary glance at me, probably taking in everything about me,
from my tangled, greasy red hair to the half-eaten slice of cake on my
plate. I completely ignored her, pretending to be absorbed in my cake.
I wolfed down the rest of it, and excused myself, running back up to my
room.
I must
have spent nearly an hour in the shower. I washed and conditioned my hair,
scrubbed my body down with flower-scented soap. Then I got out and blow-dried
my hair until it was dry and full. I dressed in blue-a navy blue dress
with a skirt shorter than hers. It was a dress that I knew I looked great
in. A white scarf tied around my neck completed the outfit, along with
a white belt buckled around my waist. I brushed my teeth, and sprayed on
clouds of perfume. I had to be better than her. I was Jean. Everyone loved
me. I
had to be better.
I stayed
in the bathroom until my hair had that perfect flip, until every time I
spun around, the scent of flowers reached my nose.
Finally convinced I looked better
than she did, I flung open the bathroom door. Bobby was out there, leaning
impatiently against the wall.
"How long do
you have to stay in there?" he demanded.
My only
response was a glare. Bobby was the only one who hadn't been taken with
me from the start. I didn't mind that at all, but the real burn was that
he liked Her a lot. As though I wasn't good enough for him. Bobby coughed
loudly. "How much
perfume'd you put on?" he demanded,
pretending to choke.
I stared
at him, thrown off for a minute. Then I replied, "None," and flounced back
down to the kitchen.
Scott
and Alex had joined Warren and Lorna by now. I smiled, pausing in the doorway.
Faithful Scott. He had loved me from the
very beginning. I knew he wouldn't
end up in the thrall of the green-haired siren. Yet...he was awfully glad
to see his brother, Alex. They had been spending a lot of time together.
I tried not to mind that. After all, Alex was his brother, and they hadn't
seen each other in years.
I wrapped
my arms around Scott's waist and kissed his cheek.
"Morning, Scott,"
I said into his strong shoulder. I felt his arm circle around
my own waist.
"Morning, Jean,"
he replied. "Alex and I were just talking about the four of us going out
to dinner later. Would you like that?"
I guessed
that "the four of us" didn't mean that Alex was taking Hank as a date.
That meant that She would be coming along. But I was Jean Grey. I was the
first woman here, and no green-tressed girl would be claiming my territory.
I was perfect. Everyone loved me. I wasn't called Marvel Girl for nothing.
So I beamed at Her first, and then at Scott, playing the perfect girlfriend.
"I would love
that!" I exclaimed. "That'll be so much fun, Scott! It'll be...perfect."
"Great," Alex
said, giving Scott a brotherly clap on the shoulder. "There's this
little cafe in New York City that Lorna loves."
Lorna
nodded, smiling. "Is around seven all right?" she asked.
Scott
turned his head to look at me, and I forced a perky smile. "Seven's fine,"
I told her.
{You don't
like them.}
I managed
to hide my surprise at hearing a mental voice in my head. I calmed myself
down and spoke back,
without showing that I was having
a conversation in my head. {I don't mind Alex, Professor. In fact, I like
him. He's nice.}
{And Lorna?}
I heaved
a mental equivalent of a sigh. {I'm sorry, Professor. I guess it'll just
take some getting used to.} He probably already knew why I didn't like
Her, but he wasn't saying anything. He probably didn't know what to say.
I usually took care of my own female problems, and my own authority had
never been tested like this before. {But I am being nice to her. That has
to count for something.}
I could
feel his smile. {Effort is not everything if you don't mean it, Jean. Which
is why I would like you to take Ms. Dane
on a walk through the grounds.
Get to know her a little better.}
{Professor!}
There was a tone of whine in my mental voice. He knew how I felt; how could
he do this to me?
{I mean
it, Jean. The X-Men have been a family up until now. A few more members
will not change anything. I want you to accept Lorna as a member of the
X-Men.}
{Oh, fine.}
I knew I sounded sulky, and I probably looked sulky too. But the Professor
was the boss. What he said would happen. There was no point in arguing
with him. I loved him, he had gone in my head and turned off my powers
when I was twelve. How could I be angry with a man who did that for me?
{I guess I can. If you really want me to.}
{I do.
I think that it is important that you give Lorna a warm welcome. After
all, someday you could be sisters.}
I shuddered
and severed the mind-link quickly. Even though the thought of getting married
to Scott made me want to laugh-how ould I even try to think that far ahead?-it
still pleased me to sometimes think that someday I might be Mrs. Scott
Summers. But if that happened, and then Alex and Lorna got married, then
we would practically be sisters. And I already had a sister. I didn't need
another one, especially not Lorna!
"Jean?
Are you all right?" Scott was asking, concerned.
"Fine,"
I answered, and wormed my way out of his grasp. I grabbed a startled Lorna
by the hand, and dragged her towards the door. "Let's go for a walk," I
said.
Lorna
shouted a goodbye to Alex over her shoulder, and once we were outside,
I released her hand and slowed my pace. We were silent for a few minutes,
while Lorna looked around at the wide blue sky. "Where are we going?" she
asked.
I paused.
I hadn't thought that far. "Breakstone Lake," I told her at last. "It's...it's
really nice."
Lorna
nodded. "I want to thank you for taking me out of there," she said. "I'm
feeling a little overwhelmed."
I cast a suspicious glare at her.
"Overwhelmed? Why?" I wanted to give her mind a quick little scan, but
then the Professor would get angry, and that was the last thing I wanted.
A small
smile crept over Lorna's face. "You never feel it?" she asked. "Living
with all of those men all the time? It doesn't get to you?"
Get to
me? Why should it get to me? Was there something wrong with being the only
woman in the entire house? Being the one
that they all loved, the one that
they all wanted? I was nearly the center of their universe. If I wasn't
adored by one of those men back up at the mansion, I was at least like
a sister. To Bobby at least, and maybe Hank too. But the important thing
was, they all loved me. They would keep me safe. I was the most important
woman in their lives. Even when Scott made it clear that he and I were
dating, I was still loved by the rest of them. I was the first woman. The
only woman. And now Lorna was there. I realized I had been silent too long,
and I shrugged. "I guess not," I said. "I don't really know what you're
talking about, I guess."
Lorna
smiled. "I'm an only child," she said, "but I had a friend who had three
brothers. They lived in a small house, and it always smelled like nachos
or feet. Her brothers were always running around and not giving her any
privacy and being-well, being men."
I blinked.
I couldn't imagine that sort of thing happening at the mansion. We were
very neat and orderly. The Professor made us keep the house clean, and
we always listened to the Professor. But-if the Professor hadn't made us
keep everything clean, what would the
mansion look like? I had always
been certain, before, that the boys would pick up after themselves, and
that none of the rooms would smell-God forbid-like feet or some other manly
smell. But now that I thought about it, what would it really be like? No
doubt Bobby would wreck the house, and maybe Warren too because he wasn't
very used to picking up after himself. Scott and Hank would probably keep
things in some kind of order, but Bobby alone could destroy the "Better
Homes and Gardens" look that the mansion had. Warming to the subject a
little, I asked, "What do you mean, being men?"
Lorna
raised her eyebrows and she was smothering a laugh. "You know-complaining
when you take too long in the bathroom, always watching or playing sports,
eating up all the good junk food before you can even get a handful. Leaving
dirty plates around, or wet towels on the floor in the bathroom, or using
up all the hot water. Stuff like that."
I didn't
talk; I wanted to think. I could think of a dozen times when the boys had
gathered in the backyard to play football. It seemed so stupid to me, so
mindless. Just throwing a ball around. It was preposterous. But I sat on
the back steps, or in the grass, and cheered for them when I thought it
was necessary. I remembered walking into a room when they were watching
football once, and asking what was going on. I had been greeted by the
sound of four men shushing me. There had been empty bags of chips and dirty
plates
everywhere. Sure, they had cleaned
it up later, but...
A giggle
escaped my mouth. "I guess I do feel it. A little. Sometimes." What I mostly
felt was immense love coming from those four boys. Love that wouldn't just
be mine anymore. I would have to share it with Lorna. The laugh died in
my throat.
Lorna
glanced sideways at me. "What, you never walk into Scott's room and trip
over a month's worth of dirty laundry?"
I shook
my head. Scott was a very neat person. He had always been that way. "Never."
Lorna
laughed. "Oh, I wish Alex was that way! He's always got dirty laundry lying
around, and no matter how much room spray you use, you can't quite get
rid of that foot smell. Ever."
I couldn't
hold back my smile. "Maybe it will change, now," I suggested slowly. "Maybe
the Professor will convince him to clean up after himself."
Lorna
shrugged. "Maybe." Then she shook her head. "I can't believe these guys
are so orderly. You hardly feel left out? If they're talking about their
dates or something? You never just want to have another girl to talk about
the article you read in Cosmo last week?"
I pressed
my lips together, feeling as though she was trying to force me to accept
her. I did feel that way-more than I wanted to
admit. I plunged my hands into
my pockets, and tried not to think about it. "I don't read Cosmo," I told
her.
"Uh-huh.
Right." The sarcasm was practically dripping from Lorna's voice. "Well,
these boys must love you a lot, if you never feel like you're getting left
out of something. Like, a secret club or something, you know?"
I stared
at the ground. They did love me a lot. I knew they did. I could feel it,
not only in all of their minds, but also in their hearts. Scott more than
the others, but the love was still there. But I did know how that felt.
God only knew how Lorna even knew what she was talking about. Hadn't she
said she was an only child? I did miss those days when I used to skip to
the store with my best
friend Annie. But now Annie was
gone. I had made a few other friends, but I never loved them as much as
Annie. Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if she hadn't been
hit by that car. Would we have had sleepovers and spent the entire night
giggling over the "How to Please Your Man" article in Cosmo? I had always
known I was different from everyone else. My parents never hid from me
that the Professor had had to turn my powers off when I was twelve. Maybe
it was Annie's death, or the fact that I knew I was
different, that had kept me away
from the others. I was a loner.
And then I came
to this wonderful place, and I was immediately accepted. I was loved. I
was cherished. Even though I looked and dressed like a woman, they treated
me like one of them. The poor boys-they hadn't known what to do when a
pretty face walked in on their training session! "Yeah," I said softly.
"A secret club." A club where the members had to understand things like
football and how to drive the woman in their lives-me-insane.
It would have
been easier if Lorna really was Magneto's daughter. It would be easier
to hate her, and no one would blame me. But, no, she had to be a normal
person, just like the rest of us. And why did she have to know so much,
have to get on everyone's good side? I was the woman here! I was the special
one! Lorna could walk right in and have everyone's attention, with her
green hair making her stand out a mile away. Red hair would never do that
for my boys again.
"Here
we are," I said, with fake cheerfulness. We stood before Breakstone Lake,
staring out across the surface.
"It's
beautiful."
Lorna stared into the sky rather
than at the lake. It was about nine thirty, and the sun was nearing a high
point in the heavens. It cast a golden light all over the lake. It truly
was beautiful. Lorna's hands slid into her pockets, and she gave a contented
sigh. The breeze ruffled her long green hair, and I sighed too, but for
a different reason. I found it ironic that the color of her hair was the
same color that could sum up my feelings about her-green envy.
"You know,"
Lorna said slowly, "I was having my doubts about coming here at first.
I was afraid. My powers aren't so hard to
hide, as long as I dye my hair.
I thought life would be so much easier if I stayed at home, or finished
my degree."
When she
didn't continue, I prompted, "And?"
"And now
I'm glad I came. I didn't feel it till this morning. This place is full
of peace and welcome. It's like-like a haven, for
mutants. Only they all become one
family. Like you, and Bobby, and Scott, Hank, and Warren. Last night, I
was so uncomfortable-I didn't know what to think. Alex was so happy to
be with Scott that he wasn't paying much attention to me. But now, today,
I really think I'm going to be happy here." She laughed. "Although I do
still feel as though I'm intruding."
"Intruding?"
I repeated, and turned my stare at her. She hadn't seen the things we had.
She was perfectly innocent, gazing out across the lake and up at the sky,
as though she hadn't had a care in the world. Give her a week in our place,
with our team, and then how would she feel? Would she be amazed, or frightened
by all the things she had seen? Did it really matter anymore? I smiled,
and this time it was genuine, and friendly. "You're not intruding, Lorna,"
I told her, to reassure her. And I was only half-surprised to realize that
it was true. I nearly laughed aloud at my own stupidity-just because there
was another woman here didn't mean that anything should
change. I was Marvel Girl. I would
still be the carrier of the flame, the only and only woman in the X-Men's
hearts.
We headed back
to the mansion, and we somehow got into a conversation in which we compared
Scott to Alex. It was obvious that Lorna loved Alex; I had nothing to worry
about. She would not take my boys from me. She was my friend. And that
evening, we
went out to dinner with our lovers,
and had a great time in the city. It wasn't really all that bad. I had
never had anything to worry about.